Empathy: Echoes of Others in Ourselves

All week long I have been thinking about the theme for this week’s Chapel: Empathy. As my first Whole School Chapel, I was keen to make a good impression by ensuring that my message hit the right note with my new school community. What should I say?

I did not have to look far to find inspiration. Ask almost anyone what they love about SJK and more often than not, they will say “community”. When you dig a little deeper into what people mean when they say “community”, they mean being surrounded by empathetic people who genuinely care about them.

I saw so many examples of empathy around the School this week. From our Kindergarten students helping a friend who had tripped in the playground, to our Upper School Student Council’s Hug and High Five Day, to our boarders in the residence celebrating a friend’s birthday, to our Senior Girls’ Field Hockey team mentoring younger players, it is clear to me that empathy is embedded in our School.

So why does this really matter? One would expect that schools are empathetic communities, so why would this be the theme of our first Chapel? Why put a focus on it?

We choose to focus on it because empathy is more than just a “nice to have” soft skill, it’s a key leadership competency. At its core, leadership is ultimately about others. It means inspiring them to take actions beyond their capabilities, leading them in a direction that is compelling and inspiring. Empathy is the foundation of those actions.

My last example, our Senior Girls’ Field Hockey team, gave me the strongest illustration of empathy as a leadership trait. Our team had just finished a tough match. The opposing team came to the field with something to prove. Last year at a provincial championship game, they were defeated by our SJK Eagles. They were back and determined to win.

In the aftermath of the game, the girls sat on the ground, exhausted, hot and visibly disheartened. Coach Dietrich did an excellent job providing feedback. She chose the right words and said them at the right time. I saw their immediate effect on the players. In that moment, they found strength in her words. Then, as if on cue, one of the senior players tapped into her empathy, turned to the youngest players and gave them positive feedback. She knew how they were feeling at that exact moment. As if by magic, I saw those tired athletes start to change. Then another senior player spoke up, again with words of praise for the youngest players. Smiles returned to the girls’ faces. Although they were still disappointed by the result, they were no longer disheartened. That is the power of empathy and the essence of great leadership. I was so moved to see this play out before my eyes.

The best part of developing empathy as a leadership trait is that we all have that ability within us. Admittedly, some of us find it easier than others, but I genuinely believe that we all have the ability to be empathetic. As author Mohsin Hamid once said, “Empathy is about finding echoes of another person in yourself.” I encourage everyone, as we move into the weekend, to take the opportunity to practice our empathy skills. Look for the echoes and see their power. Who knows what you might achieve?